Animals

Before I write about my High School batch's history with animals, let me just say how much I hate the bumbling old man I have as a professor. Mr. Crisostomo of theo class just peered outside our window and saw a Mazda 6 pull up and once again, spent the next 20 minutes in his usual pro-biker tirade. I get that it saves the environment, but we're just kids dude. We ride cars to school, because that's what our parents gave us. Some people take buses or trikes, but don't hate on those with cars. It ain't their fault. 

We are here studying your class which has nothing to do with our majors. For some reason, Theology was force fed into this system, so spare us the self-righteousness of your bike tirade. We're already wasting our time here, and we don't need this shit. Now let us do what we do, and sleep at the back of your class.

So here we go...

ANIMALS AND THE SOUTHRIDGE BATCH OF 2005 

High school, although often told to be the best time of your life, would often consist of a series boring hours sandwiching something incredible. Some wondrous moment etched in history usually comes from hours just lounging on top of the lockers, and doing nothing. Such was the case for Ubadara. In 1st year high school, while waning down a random lunch period, a cockroach that just so happened to be strolling by, was unwittingly killed by Biboy's left shoe. Out of sheer boredom, the poor creature was scraped into the chalkbox, hoping that a teacher would eventually let out a reaction upon its discovery. What ended up happening was as un-southridge as un-southridge can be where we would worship the crushed exoskeleton as Ubadara, our god. Everytime section I-B would win in the Intramural games, ther'd be a surge of excitement to rush back up to the classroom and pay our kneeling respects while chanting "Ubadara, ubadara, ubadara". When our class became top of the batch in the "class achievement award" point tally.... "Ubadara, ubadara, ubadara". When Mr. Comon the music teacher was done with his lesson twenty minutes before the bell.... "Ubadara, ubadara, ubadara". Some time during the second half of Ubadara's reign, a maya bird landed inside the classroom. Most of the students were out for PE class, leaving their uniforms draped on the edges of their seats. We took this maya bird as an omen from our god. One of us was able to get a hold of this maya bird, and we shoved it in the nearest draping pants pocket available. It just so happened to be Kim's. We shoved the poor creature in and stapled the pocket lid closed. It took two classes before Kim's pocket started chirping. Right in the middle of lunchbreak. Kim's panic was evident. But as he released the bird from his clutches, we could find no one to blame but the god who sent it. Ubadara. 

It had to be ruined though by the religious nut known as Mr. Cortes. The failed priest turned teacher saw our majesty in his chalkbox tomb and said "what is this? goodness, you gentlemen worship insects?". The next day, the chalkbox was empty and the legend of Ubadara came to an end. 

The class was desperate for a new leader, then the next day, the day after Ubadara's tomb had emptied, another roach crawled out of the bag of Paolo Narciso. Following a similar fate, Biboy stepped on it and we had a new god.... "Adoboduda". We chanted his name... "Adobo Adobo Adoboduda"... but his reign lasted shorter than his predecessor. The god Adoboduda went missing after three days in the chalk box. 

What made me write about this? No reason. Except some girls who, despite the exorbitant amount of make-up they have, remind me of of Ubadara. No amount of powder can hide that ugly.