Megan Dietrich

Brian Azzarello’s 100 Bullets is full of brilliant character arcs, but I am utterly fixated on Megan Dietrich.

Yes, she’s a classy, blonde powerhouse with an immaculate 36-24-36 figure. But what really hooks me is that she's a villain I am desperately rooting for to turn good. She has the generational wealth and the lethal intelligence to rewrite the whole plot. I love a powerful female character, but I need her to stop sleeping with geriatric cartel bosses and go rogue with the Minutemen. Pop culture has taught us that troubled women are supposed to be dangerously alluring.

Except, of course, for that one girl at Ateneo who is currently dominating the headlines. She’s troubled, sure, but she definitely missed the memo on being hot.

To the rich girl who is now internet-famous because she wrote that incredibly tone-deaf Facebook blog dragging her immersion experience: you clearly have issues, but you absolutely do not have my sympathy. Maybe if you dye your hair blonde, buy some class, and somehow naturally manifest a 36-24-36 frame, we can talk. I might even ask you out.

Actually, nah. Fuck that. I’ve seen you in History class. You were a bitch then, too. Enjoy the absolute downpour of hate coming your way—you completely earned it.

Ambition

When I was in Vigan, a man wore a t-shirt with "I only date supermodels" imprinted in the front.

Give

This Christmas has been great so far. 

Hopefully you guys have enjoyed it as well. For starters, I got to see my sister after months. I had lunch and merienda with her and a couple of her new friends, one of which is a rubix cube master and another is a successfully rehabbed druggie. 

I got to give her my gift which I bought at the last second. It took me 30 minutes to wait in line for that baby, so she'd better like the damn thing. If you're wondering, it was a soap set.  She always liked staying clean. 

Before that afternoon, I attended mass with my family and was impressed by the homily of the priest. He went on about how the real meaning of Christmas has been lost in these past years. Even the Japanese celebrate it and they don't have a damn clue about who the Jesus Christ is. 

Christmas is about knowing how unworthy you are of receiving gifts. Take your parents for example. How many times have you told your friends how much you hate your mom? How many times have you stolen from them? Taken the car? Run away? Lied to their faces? .. and yet you get nothing but life and support from their work.

So be a giver. Even if it's just a soap set.

Tying up loose ends

We’re packed and ready for La Union. Or "ready and set," if you want to be precise.

I am also roughly ten hours away from completing my first-ever Simbang Gabi. This isn’t some deep spiritual awakening; I only got interested when I found out there was a free wish involved. 

Right now, my body is worn down from a recent road trip that forced me to traverse Batangas, Laguna, and Cavite in under 48 hours. I didn’t even drive that much, but people seriously underestimate how tiring sitting can become.

4 months left of University life.

To my close friends, my buddies, my forever-and-ever pals: We have nothing to work on. There's actually no end and our jolly band will live on through messenger chats.

To my not-quite-best-friends-but-pretty-cool friends: I’ll say it in all honesty: we're cool. I am one of the biggest introverts out there. Social quota accomplished.

To those that annoyed me: It's over I guess. Here's a middle finger for whatever little thing you did. No more hate. Let's be cool. Actually no. Let's get away from each other.

SUCKS

TO BE ME

RIGHT NOW

SUCKS

TO BE ME

RIGHT NOW

SUCKS

TO BE ME

RIGHT NOW

SUCKS

TO BE ME

RIGHT NOW

SUCKS

TO BE ME

RIGHT NOW

To Mr. "Chinese Penis"

Let me rant. We all know you're a horndog. You're 20 or 21? We are all dudes here with our own baboy stories and banter. Shit happens behind closed doors. I enjoy the green mind that you have. But the apple shouldn't fall far from the tree.

When she comes in, out of nowhere you gain a heart. You gain a fucking heart! What a joke! You are now the most sensitive guy on the planet, and now you're full of love.

Forgive me, but I eavesdropped on you once. Well, its not eavesdropping if I had no choice, sitting right in front of you. You use the whole "I was bullied as a child" to gain her sympathy. 

I love Eco class.

Damn you, Mr. Chinese Penis. You fucking crack me up. That you do.

Dear Santa

Hi there. My name is Enzo Z. Araneta — from Alabang, Philippines. You might remember me from a letter I once wrote asking you for a pellet gun. I was going to show it off to all the poorer kids in my street, as well as shoot that mangy old man who walked around the village in his goddam boxers.
Remember? I forgot na when I wrote you that letter. It was probably 1995 or '96? I guess it doesn't matter, though, because I got a bike that year instead. Yeah, a bicycle. What was I going to do with a bike, Nick — can I call you Nick? Anyway, that's behind us now and I've decided to try my hand at this again — you know, asking you for a little something special this season.

So here goes...
I want my sister back.

Peace out to Mercury

Freddie Mercury is the single greatest entertainer of all time.

To Freddie, I belong to that last generation of the early days of rock 'n' roll: people who taped songs off the radio. I would steal gospel from your mouth by listening to the radio on a stereo deck with a blank tape. I remember my mix tape of 98 Rock's current playlist, featuring such hits as "my own worst Enemy" and "Spirit in the sky" and the first quarter-second of "Never Let you Go." It was difficult to tape you guys. I remember frustration at songs that, without any intro, plunged right into the vocals without warning (damn you, "Hey Jude"). 

Mostly, however, I remember your somber ballad "Love of my Life." But that's over... and now thanks to Utorrent and Limewire, we can all listen to you in crisp clear sound waves. Rock on. 

I just want to tell you that you've turned a lot of normal noiseless days into some of the most exciting baths and car rides I've ever had.  Now I have to sit back and relish at my dad's DVDs of your concerts and admire the man whose voice I shall never have. 

 You are the bomb. and don't worry... You have rocked me.

First Dates (Part 2)

Anybody know Sandwich? I love that band. I loved it with the original singer, Marc. The band was introduced to me when my grade school classmate played a mixtape in class. Marc was his cousin. It sounded pretty good, and from then on, like all pretend fanboys, I followed them so I could eventually bash the future bandwagonners. 

(Fast forward 5 years)

 So now, here I am, dating a bandwagonner. Of course, she had invited me to see Marc's new band "Kjwan", but our common love for Sandwich got us here.

I'm not gonna go into details of our interaction during the date. We were in a house which was made into a mini concert hall. There's spray-painted grafitti and a giant mural of Jose Rizal wearing shades, which may reveal what kinda place we were in. Tight spaces. Older men and women. The band was playing in what used to be the living room. The smell of smoke, alcohol and perfume, if you'd believe it. It was so loud that it was impossible to have a conversation. Even while looking at each other, lip reading without light cannot be done in this place. All alone, yet face to face.

When you feel awkward in a date or in some setting where you're trying to build connections, realize also that she wants the same thing. The shade of awkwardness, silence and wonder is there. But you're climbing up this wall with her in the most fun way you can. She said yes didn't she? It meant she was open to this one thing.

You're not getting married tomorrow.

You're trying to get to know a person, even amidst seeing Marc perform.

You may have blown it about how much you fanboy scared her. "Did you know Marc's first band was called Shirley Beans? Did you? Did you woman?!"

But you had a good time.

And slot this under the slew of first dates that didn't turn into second dates.

You'd probably go again, but make it after a few months, so she doesn't get ideas. And bring a friend. You've learned that technique, ironically, from another first date.

From the great Filipino poet, Marc Abaya, "Don't Regret your Stars"

Get them reps Bachi.

Traditions

I love traditions. It's the perfect excuse to do something and blame it on culture. Kiss a girl under a mistletoe, and it isn't your fault.  Ask a girl to the prom, it means nothing. You just needed to for this stupid prom. "I know it's stupid and all, but you wanna go to the prom. But yeah it's stupid".

I realized today that Ateneo has this tradition of the Blue Rose. To give to any girl before graduation. Any. 

So yeah. After a brief contemplation, I'm gonna have fun with this tradition and give my first crush a Blue Rose. This one I recently went out with doesn't seem very long term, as we both have different things to do after college. So be it. It'll be counterproductive and the ultimate mixed signal to give her a Blue Rose. 

My Blue Rose goes, not to her, but to my first crush.

Apart from being super creepy, let's see how this will unfold. 

It's tradition after all and a nice thought to end college. At worse, it's a funny embarrassing story I can look back upon. 

Shit. I forgot about Part 2 of my "First Dates" post. Will do that in a day.

Batista Bomb Bitches!

What senior year is like

There are couples in Ateneo who have been together for just a bit over 7 months... and now they're making plans for their future together.

Cheesy movie moment: Empire Records

Corey goes up to the roof to profess her love for AJ. It's a tense pause after this. Then, in turn, AJ surprises Corey with the news that he's going to attend art school near Harvard so they can be together.

Game.Set. Match.

Oohhh. Cue Gin Blossoms

To Manny

First and foremost, congratulations. I'd like to say that despite people's worries about your move into a higher weight division, you managed to maintain your speed and add some bulk to that left hand of yours. I was jumping up and down my seat in the duration of the fight. I even hugged an American stranger when I heard the referee declare the TKO. It wasn't a classic fight, as Oscar dela Hoya didn't do shit and decided to give up altogether, but nonetheless, you were excellent and you made me proud of what one poor Filipino can accomplish in this day and age. 

 Second, I'd like to apologize for my criticisms and harsh opinions of what kind of person you really are. In the past few years, I've been saying how much of an obnoxious member of community "jologs" you are. Forgive me Manny. We all make mistakes. I had the liberty to watch your fight in front of a big screen in Fort Bonifacio. My dad and I were invited to a breakfast gathering of all the condo owners in the area. I talked to some about you, Manny. I asked them what they thought. And all of them had nothing but absolute praise for your work ethic. They talk about how you shut out everything else but family when you train. They remember talking to your trainer, Roach, and how he's never seen anybody go the distance like you do. You are a warrior in people's minds, and now I'd have to say that I'm going to finally join the bandwagon. It's hard to earn my love, and you should've earned it years ago. 

But before I say anything else, I'd like to explain myself. 

This is why it took so long for me to love you. When I see you Manny, I remember billboards. I remember the Magic sing. I remember the way you made a fool of yourself in an action movie. The reason why I hated you so much was because I compared you to our celebrities. People who get away with millions while doing absolute jack-shit on TV. 

I will be blunt about this and say that I hate the Richard Gutierez and Sam Milby type. They are the reasons why I never bother to watch anything local. I remembered that he was Captain Barbel a couple of years ago, then suddenly it died out. You remember that Manny? Then he became another superhero but with snake powers this time around. Then he took on the role of a Cyborg, and now, I find out he's going to play Zorro. 

And I compared you to him Manny. I'm sorry for being this stupid, but I put you and him in the same league. I put you in a pool of Filipino celebrities that exhibit no work ethic and no class in trying to improve Filipino entertainment. But you aren't one of them Manny. You are a boxer. You are an icon abused by all the entertainmnt warlords and companies looking to hitch their products to your rise in the boxing world. 

You are a boxer. You are good at it. And I love you for it.

 

Citrus Chill

We had a booth in the middle of the Secfield this entire week called "Citrus Chill". Let me rephrase, we had THAT booth. A living manual of how NOT to run a Banana shake business. Funny. There's also nothing citrus about a goddam banana shake.

Unfortunately, we didn't scotch tape the booth's banner that well, so the top part of the tarp was slooping down enough to cover the word "Citrus". We ended up looking for an imaginary competitor when my friends were saying on how they liked "Chill" so much. We also had a malfunctioning blender (again), so we made do with a rusted hammer. When the order came in, I would take a block of ice behind the trees and fucking hammer that shit like I was Michelangelo. The crumbly ice bits would be small enough for our haphazard blender to do a decent job. Crumbly ice bits with some hammer rust, banana, sugar and milk all blended into Citrus Chill's non-citrus Banana shake.

We did good enough for a day's work. Waiting for customers. For 5 hours a day, you start to notice things, you make friends with your fellow vendors and you eventually buy your own shit to pass the time. I had two banana shakes. Rust crust and all. 

What I noticed about all the products out here, was the fact that these vendors tried so hard to be revolutionary, but lacked the marketing to make people want to try it out. The world is full of these "this is gonna be the biggest thing out there!!" wannabes. Tofu cookies, some wanton noodles that had some healthy ingredients, Camote chips... all that. I'm not a critic, and yet I'll still admit they're good. But not everyone saw the need to buy it. Normal shoppers would say... "Oh that's nice, the world could use some more of those" "Wow... that's a great use for those things" "Meron palang ganun?... ang galing naman!!" ...and then just walk away. They play you and they walk away. So this is what bazaar peeps feel like.

It's apparent that none of us in this array of stalls will be the next Steve Jobs, tofu cookies be damned. What a sad bunch we look. At least I have comics to pass the time. That'll do for now. 

First Dates

College is a wonderful time to mingle. I've always stuck to the rule never to date your circles. Call it fear of the looming breakup. Call it also not getting anything new. Call it the fear of them eventually finding your blog.

If you attend the same classes, see the same people and watch the same things, there's very few overlap. There are those who want companions and affection in their day-to-day activities and that's okay. No harm there. We all want positivity in everything we do. How wonderful to have someone beside you along the way.

But coming from the other side of the city, some of us just want the experience. I want your world, and to see if I can fit in it. (Oh that was cheesy)

Okay, so it's 2008 and I haven't grown into my body yet. I have the anatomical makeup of a twig and the facial profile of a Chinese fuckboy. I'm hoping that summer gym would do something about that, but I am balancing between pessimistic and abandoning this whole idea completely.

But here goes. After drinking with my roommate's friends, and hanging out in school with this roommate's friend's friends in the smocket, and then drinking with this roommate's friend's friend's  girl friend (or friend who is a girl, cause we don't wanna start these headlines), I was able to ask someone out. I played it cool. I made it casual. We saw each other again, and I asked her for a drink. This is the follow up.

(Part 2 to continue. I'm sleepy after having played Battle Realms before writing this.)