Megan Dietrich

Brian Azzarello’s 100 Bullets is full of brilliant character arcs, but I am utterly fixated on Megan Dietrich.

Yes, she’s a classy, blonde powerhouse with an immaculate 36-24-36 figure. But what really hooks me is that she's a villain I am desperately rooting for to turn good. She has the generational wealth and the lethal intelligence to rewrite the whole plot. I love a powerful female character, but I need her to stop sleeping with geriatric cartel bosses and go rogue with the Minutemen. Pop culture has taught us that troubled women are supposed to be dangerously alluring.

Except, of course, for that one girl at Ateneo who is currently dominating the headlines. She’s troubled, sure, but she definitely missed the memo on being hot.

To the rich girl who is now internet-famous because she wrote that incredibly tone-deaf Facebook blog dragging her immersion experience: you clearly have issues, but you absolutely do not have my sympathy. Maybe if you dye your hair blonde, buy some class, and somehow naturally manifest a 36-24-36 frame, we can talk. I might even ask you out.

Actually, nah. Fuck that. I’ve seen you in History class. You were a bitch then, too. Enjoy the absolute downpour of hate coming your way—you completely earned it.