God. What am I doing?

 When you have an 8, do you risk it for a 10? 

8 is great, but sometimes you are so tempted by the 10. What sucks is that you know for a fact that the 10 won't last. There is absolutely no way in blue hell this will last, unless you give up everything you hold dear and get lucky beyond lucky. 

What you are doing is going all in to get a whiff of what the 10 life is like. It's guaranteed not to last. But is it worth the moment? A spec of a memory to add to the cookie jar that makes up your self esteem and "life rating". You're able to look back and say "That'll do pig. That'll do". You had it for a day.

So why risk these things?

Because it makes us feel alive. As corny as it sounds, when you've been living as an 8 your entire life, suddenly the bar drops. 8 is no longer an 8. It's now a 7, then a 6, then a 5. You crave the 10 because there's no excitement anymore in the 8.

And to be honest, if that's the case, then you settled. No wonder you want the 10. 8 was the chicken way to go. People who appreciate the 8 are those that worked their asses off for it. 

Not for those who were born into it and just settled.

For the 8's that want the 10, realize that you may not need to risk everything for a 9. Then work your way to the 10.

Thank God, we're not talking about a marriage here. That shit will scare the settlers. When that choice comes, you'll know.