We normally spend Christmas here in Metro Manila, on the morning of the 25th having brunch with my mom’s side of the family. I love 'em, but I never liked the gifts I got from this brunch. I got a Robocop at 17 and fake pokemon cards at 18, to cite a few. My grandpa passed away a couple of months back, so we saw no need to continue the tradition. We decided to stay in
Fuck
Why? What’s so bad about
It's Sebastian fucking Araneta. That's what's bad
a.k.a. Sean
Every family has one of them. These are the cousins who always talk about sex and their girlfriend’s tits. These are the probinsyanos who think that city kids are the coolest of the bunch and that he has to put in effort to try to make us like him. He thinks all city folk get daily blowjobs. He makes yabang that he bring two wallets everywhere he goes. One for cash, and one for condoms. His girlfriend’s favorite condom is chocolate, that’s why he calls her “Chocobabe”. Every time he tells me this, I feel glad that I live on the other side of the country. He shows me pics of her in his phone. He asks me how many women I’ve fucked in college. I say fifteen, which is fifteen more than my actual count. Upon hearing this he gives me a soft punch to the soldier and says “Pinsan talaga tayo”. He then leaves to tell his barkada how cool "I" am.
Considering he's the only male cousin who's close to my age, I was pretty much stuck with old chinless there. Glad I'm home now though.
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