10 things I hate about you

Pretending to be engrossed in an important-looking book in public won't get you laid. I imagine being able to read probably was enough to get you laid back in the 14th century. I bet it still is in the Third World. (The Philippines is "developing" now if I'm not mistaken) 

All I'm saying is, if you went to Tutobekistan or some shit country that sounds like that, sat on a park bench and read a business studies manual, you’d get a hand-job out of it. But not over here. Not now. 

You know the Heath Ledger singing "Can't take my eyes off of you" bit in 10 things? You know the Anchorman Ron Burgundy doing weights in his office? You know the bit in Teen Wolf where Michael J Fox gets his friend to drive a camper van down a main road while the Wolf stands on the roof, performing back-flips? Or even Daniel fucking Larusso juggling a soccer ball in the beach during a sweet mellow campfire hangout? That shit gets you laid. Not reading in public.

So fuck you handsome guy reading outside, lemme say it again, OUTSIDE the library kanina. You're so close to the damn airconditioned library, where it's designed to comfortably read. And you slog off there in the concrete stairs. Just to get noticed.