Friday, May 02, 2008

To do lists

Hello May 2 2008. This is a day right after a holiday, which means that half the people in the office are gone to make good use of the free day yesterday and the weekend coming up. It's pretty quiet now, as if it wasn't before. 

This is the day I was going to quit my job. I was sitting outside Mervin's office getting ready to show my disappointment and how much of a waste of time this whole OJT thing was. I had a speech prepared with all the important words that could pour sympathy into his heart. Words like, "Youth", "friends", "family", "orgs", "studies" and "last summer vacation" were included. 

I open the door and he's there with his boss. "There's my man" he says. He points to me and his fingers shoot out as much guilt a person could swallow. I give the smile of defeat. The smile that says "At your service sir". The smile that won't let you down. The smile that'll keep me here for at least another four days. 

This is the day I failed to speak to Bea again. She's as good as its going to get, working in Globe. She stands way above the rest. But amidst the winks, the "good morning" smiles and the eyebrow-raising we give each other, there's nothing there. There's no bridge to build on. There's no common ground or situation that could force us to talk. She's there always busy, I'm way over here on the other side trying to be busy. We need to bump each other in the corridor. Her papers must drop and I've got to help her pick them up. Isn't that how it always goes?

Fucking torpe. That's why God doesn't want you to leave. Ask Bea out na.

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