Anxiety

There's a saying that "a picture's worth a thousand words". However, I counter to the reverse of that statement. It's that a word is worth a thousand pictures, especially to the hyper anxious.

You send a text out there, a "Hey, what's happening?". And that miniscule composition of words comes across like a little Picasso in your head, especially after a few hours of an absent reply. It first paints the picture of "Alright, maybe she's busy", a common work of art that even 10-year olds are subject to create. You try to study or game around with your brothers. You read Civil War, but not even Wolverine can stop the painting of new pictures, each becoming more creative as time passes.

"Was I blocked?"

"Maybe, she's not that interested in me?"

"She probably thinks I'm a piece of shit. Did she stumble across my blogs? Goddamit! Did she not find that piece about my Theo prof funny? Oh no. Maybe she got creeped out. Fuck it! Fuck it!"

...and then you get a text 8 hours after saying, "I'm in Pampanga and lola's got no signal. Message me in YM for the weekend".

And this is why you and life will never work out. The imbalance of expectations between two parties to a little text causes too much stress I tell you. Especially to the hyper anxious.