Why am I unapproachable?

because I'm really a nice guy after all.

It isn't really that you're shy right? Because you seem to click with everyone else. You just go and talk to the whole dam room and skip me. Why? Is it because I threaten you? Because you're afraid? Let's do this the scientific way and break down the Hibachi Physique.

Why do I seem unapproachable?

First up...
I'm rich. (Now let's be honest here) There's a certain elitist level that rich people posses. I observed this in high school that the richest members of the batch were the ones untouched simply because everyone was scared that they couldn't cope with their lifestyles. Because if you do befriend the rich, you'd have to go shopping with them, eat with them and go wakeboarding. None of which can keep your wallet afloat. Befriending the rich guys would mean that you'd have to starve for about 4 days to survive one gimik. If you can't match the rich, they often call you names like "Carl Estanislao" or "taga-probinsya". And you don't want to look like an un-elite now do you? So you stay away. Far as possible from those that can snip your savings away. You stay mysterious to them, hoping that they may never discover the middle-classer within.

Next reason is that I sound like someone who smells the blood of an Englishman. Fie Fye Fo Fum, My voice is the ultimate "Okay this guy isn't 13" voice. The "He must've been circumsized time and time again" voice. I pretty much sound like the next James Earl Jones. When you try to look for someone to talk to, you wanna find someone who sounds like Patrick Dempsey or Edward Burns. You want someone who, when you're talking to him, has a warm tone that could penetrate your veins. Unfortunately there'll be no warm, happy feeling when you're talking to me. The experience is almost scary. It's like a tall, angry oboe is yelling at you.

Third.. I am good-looking. Unlike the previous blog, this isn't to make yabang. I'm being honest here. I have nice brown eyes (that very few will notice) and I've got forest brown hair. It's not the "Look oh... If I put my hair against the sun, it's really brown" brown. Doofuss. My hair is "If you look closely, you'd agree its brown" brown. I've modelled. I have been crush ng bayan of the dollhouse and during second year, when I brought an Axe clicker to school to count how many girls would stare at me for three seconds, my clicker registered a 63. Good looking people, just like rich people have that aura of untouchability for two reasons. The first is the stereotype of Naomi Campbell that shows how bratty good looking people can be. Second, I think that good looking people always assume that people who approach them have a crush on them. For example, there was this girl in Comsci class who sat beside me. At that moment, I quickly assumed that she had a crush on me. During Philo, another girl was saying "Enchong, you're such a lazy guy". I didn't take her seriously. At that moment, again, I assumed that she started the "you are lazy" conversation because she had a crush on me. I am a vain son of a bitch. But my good looks are stopping me from meeting a nice young girl who just wants to talk to me. Admit it people! It's much easier to talk to Quasimodo than it'd be with Phoebus!

Another reason is that I'm oriental-looking. I dunno what it is with these people, but I always view the Chinese as racist bastards. There's something inside of me that feels that the Chinese feel that they are in an exclusive sect that nobody else should penetrate. Maybe its because I know a couple of girls who can only date Chinese boys or I always see Koreans travel in threes. But I could never muster the courage or quite simply the will to go to a Chinese girl and talk to her. I feel as if an entire Chink mafia would come down on me. So now, other Filipinos feel like they can't talk to me. They think that I'd hate them or something. Do some Kung-Fu or something. Chopstick their balls or something.

Next is that I'm tall. The average Filipino male is 5'4. That's a full seven inches under me. The average Filipina is 5 feet tall. That's eleven inches under me. So I put myself in another person's body and imagine someone who's 11 inches taller. Would I talk to that guy? Hell no. I'd run away and start yelling "Godzilla! Godzilla!"

But the final reason why I don't attract people, why I am unapproachable...
is the fact that I have no boobs.

Yan lang pare.

If you want people to talk to you.
Get boobs!