Gym Carrey

If I get too tired to make it... just kick my ass please. Gym season is here and we are in the twilight of youth. The road to more chicks has begun ironically with a road of more men. Clanking iron and old women breathing heavily on treadmills. A process of being around sweaty men for about two hours. Sweaty men who like touching each other. "Dat feels good bro". Sweaty big buff alpha males who talk about Protein shakes and Triple H. "Hey guess what i did last night man.... ...push-aps bro. Yeah man 8 jillion poosh-aps". Their names go from Joboy, Rico, Jinngoy, Boy, Kaloy.

Wassup... I'm Enchoy

There's my trainer. He talks about the UFC a lot. His name is Rudy and he likes touching men as well. He wears them gloves to minimize the transfer of AIDS. He starts almost every sentence with "kasi" and ends with a "diba". (Parang si douchebag). He called me over to review the gym program. He rolled my tummy ever so gently and vice-gripped my arms. I didn't want to look at his face. The sudden sight of him licking his lower lip would make me pee on the spot. So then I'd be the woosy thin tall chinese kid in this purely hypothetical situation. He showed me the program. "You've never worked out before have you?"

I nodded.
I lied.
I backstabbed.
I smiled.

Hindi ko gets eh. When I'm around my blockies, the katipuneros, or the monkeys.. I seem to be the biggest fattest motherfucker in the lot. But when I'm in the gym with these alpha males, I always seem to wish to be bigger... fatter. I just want to hide my scrawniness... catch my drift?

All the work will pay off soon. I'm gonna be one of those alpha males doing push-ups with my fingers and talk the exact way I talk now (except replace the "chicks" with the words "Protein shakes").
"Yo bro... tang ina.. nakita mo ang protein shake na iyan? Gusto kong dilaan! Masarap pre"
I'll be the bigger, buffer, man-touching machine of Hibachi


diba?



Siguro I'm gonna look back at this entry when I'm bored and 30 years old. I have a beard and a small job at a company in Makati. I'm gonna look at my scrawny arms and throw a barbel at this computer screen.


okay.. on a sidenote. I dont care if we're friends or if anyone is offended, but oriental guys shouldn't dye their hair. Sa unang punto, di kayo bagay and you're treating our country with no respect for our culture. Where we live in, girls are the accessory monsters and guys just watch. Kayo nga dapat ang mga yayo namin eh... you're like the Mexicans to the americans. But we end up serving you. Fuck off and do your own shit in your own country. Di ka kasi gwapo. Pa-cool ka lang ata. Kung pogi ka, pwede pa... pero most chinese boys in our country aren't pogi. You aren't Chris Tiu or Eyn Chung Aira Nheta. So you koreans or chinese... include the Indian boys even. Stop trying to be american or whatever. Study Math nalang. Nakakainis na ang papogihan na toh na hindi naman mangyayari.